Posts Tagged ‘ dealing with hunger ’

Sometimes the hardest thing is waiting.

I’m having difficulty with the holding pattern that my injured ankle has created. I try to balance my food and exercise (being of scientific bent, it’s easier for me to treat weightloss as a purely scientific matter. It also leads to marginally less in the way of brain-weasels attacking me, and ensures I don’t do anything stupid like starve myself) and I eat back (an estimation of) whatever calories I exercise.

Because I can’t really exercise for very long or intensely at the moment, I’m having difficulty with balancing my food intake. I usually have difficulty eating enough calories to balance my exercise and keep my weight loss to ~1kg a week (losing more than that is usually either water, or, more worryingly, the body starting to catabolise muscle, which is NOT what I want.) However, my hunger feels like it’s gnawing at me and it’s really hard not to either just ignore it, which leads to me not eating when I need to, or just saying “fuck it” and eating lots of hind-brain satisfying salt and fat.

The other difficulty is, because I have gained a little due to the three week tantrum, the scales are up. Usually I can ignore that because I plot the trend, but the trend isn’t down at the moment. I know it’ll take time to catch up with eating properly again, but sticking with it is really hard at the moment.

I have to wait until my ankle is healed. I know I do. It’s just that it’s slow, and it hurts and why can’t I have what I want NOW? I’m prepared to work for things (see: sensible long-term weight loss), but it’s really hard when I feel that things are out of control.

I hate waiting.


Today is really, really hard

I’ve been sticking to my calorie allowance. I’ve actually been losing weight slightly too fast, and think I may need to up my calories slightly, but I’ll speak to the dietician on Thursday.

But today is really hard. I ran (for a given value of running that is the second week of Zombies 5K training) last night and felt great. Then today, I felt like I was running on empty when I woke up. This resulted in me getting up late, which resulted in me not having time to eat my full breakfast. I had a protein shake and coffee (cereal alone doesn’t fill me up enough.) Luckily, I keep cereal at work for such an occurrence.

I felt better once I ate, but then I was hungry again. I ate my morning snacks, and then half my afternoon snacks. I was ok, but I was starving at lunch even though I’m generally not.

I’m trying to give my lunch time to expand/settle and fill me up before I start on the last of the snacks. I’m just–hungry, and while I’m a little hungry, I’m never usually ravenous. (My theory is that because I’ve gone away from one HUGE meal every day and a half/two days to three smaller meals of less calorie dense food + snacks, my hunger never reaches EAT ALL THE THINGS levels.)

I’m ravenous right now.

I’m going to try and get through it. I have an apple, I can have tea and try and fill myself up. I cannot expect it to be as easy as it has been. It would be great if my body knew what it wanted, but obviously becoming obese felt great for my body so I’m going to have to take that with a grain of salt. I’m trying to rationalise it with “You’re hungry because you’re having to dip into fuel reserves. You’ve had a decent amount of food, you’re just losing weight.” It’s sort of working, but… still. Hungry.

Just–today is really hard.