Posts Tagged ‘ adjust and go on ’

Sometimes the hardest thing is waiting.

I’m having difficulty with the holding pattern that my injured ankle has created. I try to balance my food and exercise (being of scientific bent, it’s easier for me to treat weightloss as a purely scientific matter. It also leads to marginally less in the way of brain-weasels attacking me, and ensures I don’t do anything stupid like starve myself) and I eat back (an estimation of) whatever calories I exercise.

Because I can’t really exercise for very long or intensely at the moment, I’m having difficulty with balancing my food intake. I usually have difficulty eating enough calories to balance my exercise and keep my weight loss to ~1kg a week (losing more than that is usually either water, or, more worryingly, the body starting to catabolise muscle, which is NOT what I want.) However, my hunger feels like it’s gnawing at me and it’s really hard not to either just ignore it, which leads to me not eating when I need to, or just saying “fuck it” and eating lots of hind-brain satisfying salt and fat.

The other difficulty is, because I have gained a little due to the three week tantrum, the scales are up. Usually I can ignore that because I plot the trend, but the trend isn’t down at the moment. I know it’ll take time to catch up with eating properly again, but sticking with it is really hard at the moment.

I have to wait until my ankle is healed. I know I do. It’s just that it’s slow, and it hurts and why can’t I have what I want NOW? I’m prepared to work for things (see: sensible long-term weight loss), but it’s really hard when I feel that things are out of control.

I hate waiting.

Advertisements

Oh god. GIANT TRIGGER WARNING

So, I followed Captain Awkward because it served me to have my reading in one place. And I wanted to comment, so I did.

People have been following that link back. People stumble across this blog from who knows where–and I’d just like to take a moment to say, please take care of yourselves. This blog is about weight loss. I have disordered eating. I’m trying to lose weight–under medical supervision and in a healthy way.

If this is going to harm you or trigger you, please tap out now. More specific details below the cut.

Continue reading

Trying not to theorise ahead of my data

So far I’ve lost 6 pounds in two weeks, 3.5 pounds in one week.

I’m going to start eating back the amount I exercise. I realise that the calorie burn from the amount I exercise is guestimated, but it’s only approximately 160 calories.

If that doesn’t work to slow the weight loss, I’ll evaluate raising it another 100 calories.

This is the good thing about the Hackers diet. It gives you immediate feedback (if you weigh every day. Which, so long as I have a friend I can neuroticise at who is prepared to yell at me if I’m being dumb, I can do. It’s fascinating to realise that yes, my weight does consistently dip due to hormones and then raises at a particular time afterwards), and the trend line shows you problems reasonably soon. According to it, I’m at a calorie deficit of 917 and I should be at 850 to lose 1.7 pounds a week. (This is the trend. It’s smoothed, so it’s going to be less than actual. Also, given hormones, etc., I honestly wouldn’t be surprised to find out the last couple of days are a bounce.) I am expecting that after a 10-15 pound loss, I’m going to have to revise my diet calculator again because your body works that much more efficiently with less weight to pull around.

For the record, I write entries up to several days ahead, depending on when the mood strikes me. This entry was written on weigh-in day, or Wednesday. but won’t be published until Friday. That’s why things may sometimes seem to be out of order, or may make you go “… but she started this on the 1st of May!”