Archive for the ‘ relationships ’ Category

Well. A load of worrying over nothing.

My mother just cancelled our trip away for my birthday. I understand that her job is uncertain and she needs to save, etc. I do feel a bit disappointed, and I wish she’d said “But I will cook you a meal! Come over for dinner!” instead.

Well, I’ve been an adult and said “Are you in [city] that weekend? We could catch up for dinner.”

I’ve also contacted two friend and I’m seeing one of them on Friday night and another one on Saturday. I may get my nails painted or my eyebrows done or something on the Friday that I have leave for.

In general, ugh, and she is not going to ruin this. Hell–it’s going to mean the food thing is a non-issue and I don’t have to worry about her “forgetting” that I’m allergic to dairy and then me spending the evening hunched over the toilet.

OK. I was sad, now I’m going to have a fantastic time.



I just incepted my mother into enforcing my sobriety.

There is a family history of alcohol addiction/abuse. My mother drinks to levels that… well. They are above recommended levels for daily intake. That’s her choice–she’s an adult. So long as she doesn’t get behind the wheel of a car, I don’t care.

(I do, however, think she’s in denial of this fact. And I hate that I cannot refuse a drink without it being a BIG FREAKING DEAL.)

Anyway, we were on the phone last night, so I thought I’d strike pre-emptively.

Me: Oh hey, I’m not drinking for three months.

Mother: Good for you!

Me: Yeah, I was drinking too much, so I decided to give up for three months and then only drink when I’m out/with friends afterwards.

Mother: Well, you know you can have two glasses of wine healthily, right?

Me: Yes, but the size of a “glass” is not the size of a standard drink. There are 7.5 to 8.4 drinks in a bottle of wine.

Mother: So about 150 mls.

Me (internally): No, that’s around 90 mls.

Me (out loud): Anyrate, it’s amazing how this sorts out the people who are uncomfortable with other people being sober.

Mother: Oh, I’m sure that’s not it.

Me: No, seriously. You refuse a drink, you shouldn’t have to keep refusing because they keep asking. It should be your choice. Personally, I like being a probationary driver, because it means I have an iron-clad excuse for not drinking alcohol.

Mother: Well, I would NEVER insist after someone said no.

Me (cheering internally while trying not to die of irony): Of course not.

(The other note here is that my mother LOVES being able to tell me to suck it up and just do stuff.)

Me: So, it’s a bit depressing, I won’t be able to drink on my birthday.

Mother (sternly): Well, if you can’t enjoy yourself without drinking then you should look at your relationship with alcohol. You can just have a lemon squash!

So. I may have just incepted my mother into enforcing my sobriety. Yay me? Now, if I can just get her to accept me leaving food on my plate, I’ll be golden.

I did that

When I started this diet, I looked at what I was eating. I have a sensitivity/allergy to dairy, which meant that I permanently felt like I had a low-grade fever. Muscle aches, joint aches, lethargy. The trouble is, I LOVE cheese, and the effect creeps up on you.

Now that I’ve been strictly dairy-free for a week, I’m really really noticing the difference.

The same with alcohol. When I started, I honestly looked at the level at which I drank. Three glasses of wine or three beers a night. The trouble is–those weren’t standard drinks. A bottle of beer contains 1.4 standard drinks. A “glass” of wine is also more than one standard drink.

It officially met the [country I live in]’s criteria for binge drinking.

It was only at home. I never got a hangover. I didn’t HAVE to have a drink–if I was out, or busy, I just wouldn’t and I wouldn’t notice.

I stopped drinking purely because of the calories. I missed it for two nights, but not anymore. I miss the taste of wine or good beer, but not the calories, not the effects (I’m sleeping better).

I think when the three months is up, I will drink again. But I will limit myself to one glass/beer, and only when I’m out in public/with friends.

My friends are respectful of me not drinking. My family is not going to be. Every single occasion is celebrated with alcohol. My birthday is in a month’s time, and I’m going away to [another city] with my mother.

This is going to be… difficult.