Why this space?

One of the reasons that I like this blog (and obviously, I continue to write in it because I like it) is because it’s so disconnected from “real” life. You see, in real life, women are simultaneously expected to be beautiful and strive for beauty, but achieve beauty without any effort and continuously be unaware of this fact. “Pshaw,” they are supposed to say dismissively. “This old thing? I just threw it on.”

This is both impossible and complete bullshit.

The truth is, while there may be some women out there for whom beauty is natural and effortless, whose armpit and leg hair naturally grows so sparsely that they don’t need to shave (I am not pro or anti shaving. It’s a personal choice, but I think being JUDGED on it is bullshit,) who have naturally visible eyebrows (hah!), long hair that doesn’t snarl into knots and attempt to eat sunglasses and innocent passers-by (double hah!), whose skin is naturally flawless (welp). The list goes on. I just don’t know any women like this.

Every single woman I know is “flawed” according to modern beauty standards. Some don’t shave. Crooked noses, crooked teeth. Others just really don’t give a flying fuck and shave their heads three times a year. Every single one of them (naturally, because they’re my friends) are incredible people.

However.

Vanity is a sin, right? It’s also really, really fucking boring for the people around you.

I’m… moderately pretty I guess. I don’t make much of an effort because I don’t really care. But I do care about my weight because I don’t like it. I don’t feel comfortable in my own body.

The amount of sustained effort that it takes for someone who is obese to change that is immense. So is the amount of self-absorption and inner focus. But it’s not encouraged in this stupid society, which says you can’t be fat but you also can’t be as selfish as you need to be to change it. You can’t refuse food, that’s rude. And god forbid larger people should actually get out and exercise in public.

Shock! Horror!

So this is my space. To be as self-absorbed as I need to be. To get my thoughts out and somehow feel like things are a bit more permanent than just thinking them in my own head.

It’s also my space to say a loud “FUCK YOU” to the guys who screamed “GET OFF THE ROAD, FATTY” at me as I was out running. 1. I was on the footpath, you idiots, and 2) If you so object to me being fat, then why do you object to me exercising?

Of course, the truth is probably 3) that they’re mannerless goons who lack so much in their lives that they feel they have to assert themselves over random (female) passers by.

Whatever, dudes. FUCK YOU.

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