Archive for May, 2013

Well. A load of worrying over nothing.

My mother just cancelled our trip away for my birthday. I understand that her job is uncertain and she needs to save, etc. I do feel a bit disappointed, and I wish she’d said “But I will cook you a meal! Come over for dinner!” instead.

Well, I’ve been an adult and said “Are you in [city] that weekend? We could catch up for dinner.”

I’ve also contacted two friend and I’m seeing one of them on Friday night and another one on Saturday. I may get my nails painted or my eyebrows done or something on the Friday that I have leave for.

In general, ugh, and she is not going to ruin this. Hell–it’s going to mean the food thing is a non-issue and I don’t have to worry about her “forgetting” that I’m allergic to dairy and then me spending the evening hunched over the toilet.

OK. I was sad, now I’m going to have a fantastic time.


Off the plateau

I’m finally off the plateau. My “trend line” in the Hacker’s diet was always going down, but it was so frustrating to see the scales not move. I couldn’t seem to break that 190.9 pound barrier–it wasn’t even that I dipped below and then would hover around it, I would just never measure below that number.

Yesterday was a bad day. I forgot to bring my yoghurt to work and couldn’t get out to buy one. I did have an apple as a snack in the afternoon, but it just doesn’t fill me up. I had fish planned that evening for dinner and I refuse to buy fish on anything other than the day I’m cooking/eating it, so I went to the shops while I was hungry.


Some chocolate and liquorice purchases later, I snacked on them was I was eating dinner.

But the thing is:

That’s not the end of the world. I don’t want to do it every day. But I did weigh my portions and log them. I cut out one of the veges (I was going to have fish, four veges and quinoa, and I ended up just having fish and three veges.)

Then I worked out that if I walked for an hour, my calories would balance for the day. I REALLY didn’t want to. It was cold and wet. But I put on a long-sleeved top and just went.

And then I thought “… if I do week 3 session 3 of Zombies Run 5k training, that will work out pretty much the same calorie-wise, AND it only takes 42 minutes.” So I ran.

My god it was hard work. The easy runs of Tuesday were a thing of the past. But I perservered and kept at it. Did all of the walk/run drills, ran the first five minutes. Didn’t manage to make half of one of the 8 minute freeform runs (it’s just a minimum I’ve set for myself) but did manage the other. At the end of the day, my calories balanced.

Also as a note to self–I dressed in a long-sleeved top, because I thought I was going to be walking. I should have dressed in a short-sleeved top as running just makes me too hot. Lesson learned.

And this morning the scales showed 190.

So: failing isn’t the end of the world, if you can control it, try to mitigate the damage and continuing to work will see you mostly ok.

Failings and getting back up on the horse

A tale of two extremes: lessons learned for next time.

The weekend kind of sucked.

Continue reading

A list of things

  • I am destined never to see a dietician and have them help me with my diet. I rocked up on Saturday, only to not find the room. Eventually I called them and they told me they’d booked me into the OTHER rooms. That were half an hour’s drive away. Needless to say they hadn’t informed me of this.
  • However, I did get to speak to the dietician who I had an abortive appointment with. She actually sounds sensible–she enquired with trepidation whether I was doing (insert name of fad celebrity diets here). I said confusedly “No, I just made it up myself.” She said “GOOD” emphatically.
  • She asked me to keep a food diary for a couple of days and bring it in to our appoinment. I said I already did. She recommended using CalorieKing. I said I did. She said “Fantastic!”
  • Things I suspect: She will want me to up my calories and tell me to add more good fats. Also she may tell me to take calcium tablets–which the doctor already has.
  • I’m a lot more confident after speaking with her. She sounds sensible.

Off the subject of dieticians and onto more general stuff.

  • I’ve been on a plateau for a week (Well. I say a plateau, but I’ve gained 0.4 of a pound and it’s sticking with me). It’s driving me nuts. All I can do is stick to my calories and keep on eating (I hope) healthily and with any luck I’ll budge off it.
  • I got my blood test results back from the doctor. As suspected, my cholesterol is screwy (it’s not actually that my cholesterol is high–the bad cholesterol is borderline, but my GOOD cholesterol is low. Like I said, more almonds and avocado and we’ll see what the dietician says.)
  • My liver enzymes are raised. And they’re raised in an odd pattern–it’s not the ones that say a disturbance in the cells, or a disturbance outside the cells. It’s one of each. I guess we retest in three to six months time with no drinking and see what they say.
  • My vitamin D is 30. For reference, the normal range is 50-70. No wonder I’ve been feeling like crap. The doctor looked at me and said “Get more sun” and I was all “… HOW?!? I work during the daytime, I don’t wear sunscreen in winter and if I go outside during lunchtime it’s cold so only my hands and face are uncovered.” She looked at me for a second and said “… good point. Get some tablets.”
  • Things I didn’t tell my doctor: that is my vitamin D after three weeks of eating a vitamin D fortified soy yoghurt every day. I wonder what my levels were before that? (I suspect I don’t want to know.)
  • That does explain a lot of what I’ve been feeling lately.
  • Weekends are really hard for me. I have so much to do, and without the ability to weigh things/plan, I don’t feel like I can eat while I’m out. This usually ends in me under-eating. I need to get better at planning. And maybe ditch the weekend sleep-ins.

Things are really hard at the moment and I feel like crap. I’m hoping a good sleep tonight will sort most of it out.




Feeling my way

So, I honestly don’t feel hungry much. Or rather, I feel… english doesn’t have the words.

I feel hungry. What may be low blood sugar. But I can feel that while simultaneously feeling like my stomach is full–like around now (when I’m writing this), two hours after lunch. I had a huge salad with poached chicken breast. I feel physically full, but like I want to eat. It’s odd.

(note: as I type this, I had a soy yoghurt. The effect was immediate, too fast for blood sugar. So, that’s a psychological effect then. Interesting.)

Anyway, I’ve been reading and reading. Every thing I read does suggest that I should be eating more than I am. The thing is, I am eating more now (in terms of volume) than I have for a long time. The fact that I’m no longer eating cheese or bread, both of which are relatively dense in terms of calories to volume, probably accounts for it. (I say no longer, I mean, lunch is a huge amount of salad and a serve of chicken rather than lunch being a large roll with brie, beef and roquette. Volume-wise, they’re about the same. Fibre-wise and calorie-wise–not even close. )

I do have noticeably more energy. Every calculator (and for the record, this one seems really accurate) that I put my weight, age and height into as well as my basic level of activity tells me that my BMR is around 1,585 calories.

Maybe I should eat more and see if I lose weight? I don’t know.

I guess it’s a holding pattern until Saturday, when I talk to the dietician.

I’m not so sanguine now it’s actually happened.

The scales have gone up two days in a row.

I’m trying not to–it’s only half a pound, and I know this could be water or hormones or eating a bit more salt.

Because I’m worried about my calories being too low, I’ve started eating back my exercise calories. Well, mostly. I forgot to eat my apple yesterday, but it’s better than nothing, right?

I’m so sore today that I almost can’t walk. I’m going to do some yoga tonight because I can’t do weights. I figure half an hour of yoga (more stretching than strenuous) will at least fit my criteria of doing at least half an hour’s exercise each day. Does anyone have any good recommendations? Youtube/free for now, but if you want to recommend DVDs for later, I’ll keep it in mind.

The emergence of bone

10.2 pounds lost this month, 4.2 lost in the past week.

My jeans are easier to get on over my thighs, but because I’ve lost a bit of fat around my belly they’re not staying up the best. Because I’m not stuffed into them like a sausage (although they’re still tight) I may need a belt until I lose a few centimeters off my thighs.

The thing is, looking in a mirror–I don’t see any difference. Maybe a SLIGHT reduction in my pot belly. But where I do notice a reduction is in the feel of my body.

I can distinctly feel bones in my fingers. I couldn’t before. My face is getting to be more square than round, and I can feel distinct lines of my jawbone and cheekbones. My collarbones are more distinct and where I could only vaguely have told you that yes, based on anatomical models I almost certainly had a sternum above my breasts, now I can feel it.

It’s hard not to get frustrated. I still have a pair of size 12 jeans in my wardrobe. I’m now a size 16-18. I’m glad I didn’t throw them out, because it’s been four years since I’ve been able to wear them. But I can see myself getting into them again–not now, but possibly by the end of the year.

Notes: I ran but didn’t lift weights last night because I started, then found I was too sore (I think I need to buy lighter dumbbells. On my list, along with another pair of tracksuit pants for exercise). But I’ll do legwork tonight and try to fit upper body in. But I’m really proud of myself for my run. The program I’m doing is Zombies Run 5K. I’m only in week 2, which was 30 second runs/5 heel lifts/a minute’s walk. Then at the end, they give you a 10 minute freeform run.

I started off walking for most of it. Then I managed a minute and a half of running. Then up to three, then four minutes.

Last night, I managed six minutes running, including a 2 minute run that went 30 seconds into cool-down time because I wanted to hit that 2 minutes. I’m improving. I can do this.